I just finished re-reading ‘The Midnight Library,’ by Matt Haig. I devoured the novel in less than 48 hours, but this time I really read the words. Sometimes when I read I do tend to skim. I get bored when the paragraphs get long, so I skip those parts or sometimes I skip pages. I think that’s how most people tend to read or maybe it’s just writer’s that read that way. Or maybe I’m the only one in a sea of billions that don’t read the entire novel beginning to end. This time I truly did.

After reading the last words, ‘thinking about her next move,’ I smiled. I am a person who is always thinking about what’s next instead of focusing on and finishing whatever it is that I’m currently working on. In the novel, Nora’s thoughts were about chess and also about life. Well, that was my thought anyways. I’ve never really sat down and dissected a novel like one would dissect a poem. But this novel was poetic and full of meaning.

It’s not something I speak about often, but my mom swallowed a bottle of Prozac when she was 37 years old. She never made it out of ‘The Midnight Library,’ or wherever she went and maybe that’s why this novel touches me so much.

Nora did make it out, because she wanted to LIVE. I of course cried when I read the line…

‘I AM ALIVE’

Those were the words that she (Nora) needed to write. Not, ‘I want to live,’ or ‘I need to live.’ She needed to tell herself that she was in fact still alive. So that she would wake up. It was interesting to see how her life came together after she woke up and was transported to the emergency room. Her brother came to see her and her best friend whom she hadn’t spoken with in quite some time sent a text. Was it the call for help that got those two to wake up or was it fate? So many rabbit holes to go down. Maybe I should have studied philosophy.

The In-between

Before reading or even knowing about the Midnight Library I had started to write a new novel about a book store that had books that would transport you to another dimension. Do you think there is a library, a video store, or perhaps a music store that you go to when you are in between life and death? It’s an interesting thought. Do we come back as another person, an animal or an insect? Maybe. Do we remember our past lives? Doubtful.

That was the only thing that bothered me about the novel. Nora always remembered her past life and not the life she had slid into. And I get that her past life was the life that she was always meant to live, but I also thought that she would at least get a glimpse into the life of the Nora that she had taken over.

Instead she would open her eyes and act a fool in whatever situation she found herself in. Svalbard was the best one I suppose as she had only been there for a day or two and didn’t know anyone so it was an easy life to ‘fake.’ Don’t get me wrong the novel was still beautifully written, even when Nora’s character was somewhat annoying. I remember when my grandma was trying to read the Harry Potter novels. She would always tell me she was having a hard time reading them because Harry was always bemoaning about his life. Like my grandma, I do not like the, ‘woe is me,’ characters.

Final Thoughts

Life could have been so much different if my mom had stayed, but that was not how my future was meant to be or hers. Life is fragile, it’s hard and sometimes people find it unbearable. They just can’t get to the surface to see how beautiful life really is. How beautiful our world is. The flowers, the trees, the butterflies, the bees… you get what I’m saying. I had someone tell me that’s why pups are so amazing, ‘they always stop to smell the flower’s and view the world that surrounds them.’ (Thank you, Holly)

I’ve always wanted to live and stay alive. I would love to live to age 100 (as long as I’m still up and moving around and aware of it all.) I love my life and those that are in it. Of course I feel pain and sadness when losing someone or hearing that a friend lost someone close to them. I tend not to dwell on the past and seem to move on pretty quickly as I feel like those that have parted would like us to stay happy. That they wouldn’t want us to stay sad and not live our lives.

I live my life to the fullest and always without regret. The path I’ve chosen is the path I chose and I keep moving forward one step at a time. Attempting to better myself by learning something new every single day, helping those that need help, smiling at everyone I see or meet and just being there if needed. I’ve always been this person and will continue to be who I am until my time is up.

Please know that if you ever feel like you can’t live any longer, that you truly are loved by many and that you are wanted. Your mind is a dark place and can play tricks on you. Please reach out to and get help. If you haven’t read ‘The Midnight Library,’ then you need to.

I hope this post was enjoyable and as always if you haven’t done so, please like and subscribe!